How to survive infidelity in your relationship or marriage has to be handled differently in the initial stages depending upon whether you're the one who cheated or the one who's been cheated on.

If you messed up, you cheated on your partner and now you want to get things back on track here's some dynamite tips...

You're likely to feel guilty, exposed, scared, uncertain and foolish amongst other things and in times like this when you're emotionally charged it's very easy to say or do things that you might regret later. Here's what you should do:

1. Stay calm as much as you can when your partner confronts you with an inevitable barrage of questions, snipes and insults. Let them know that you're ready and willing to answer all their questions truthfully and that you're not prepared to get confrontational, not because you're trying to be smart but because it won't help.

2. Be aware of your tone when talking to your partner and answering their questions as that's even more important than the actual words you say.

3. Tell your close family and friends yourself. The chances are your partner will be gunning for you and will tell them anyway, so if they're going to get caught up in the crossfire they will probably prefer hearing it from you.

4. Recognise that your partner is going to need time and space to come to terms with the situation and to decide what they want to do. Pushing them into talking about the situation before they're ready won't help.

5. Don't think that simply saying sorry is going to solve everything. It's much more beneficial to instead tell your partner what you've learnt from it all.

6. Get some advice on how to survive infidelity from someone who's been in your position so knows exactly how you're feeling and can guide you step by step what to do next.